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| Dear Entire State of Hawaii,
How are you? I hope things have settled now and the electricity is
back and running. I am assuming that since you are reading this that
your internet, at least,
is back up and running (or you have found a local pub with free
wireless to diligently check for news updates. and porn). I am
sending this not because I lack the common decency to ring
you privately via telly, but because: I no longer wish to talk on the
phone unless you stalk me religiously.
that being said, i have to admit that i love catastrophes. well. not
"love", but more - "appreciate" their ability to inspire compassion,
incite discussion, and inevitably (for better or worse) force change.
i liken it to the embodiment of newton's law of inertia in action: one
continues about their daily way of life until *bamf!* emergencyredalert causes them to pause and reassess.
as a result, we're immediately thrust into one or all of the following procedures:
1. immediate sending for back-up and relief services to control damage (fire, police, your uncle bob)
2. mass technological infiltration to ensure safety (email, text, phone
calls, anything short of rolling up pant legs and waddling across the
pacific ocean)
3. heaving a huge sigh of relief, then pointing fingers at who is to blame (fema, mother nature, your uncle bob)
but in between all this, and after all is said and done, we find
ourselves inexplicably drawn to put down our barriers for once and lend
a hand to those in need. we ask ourselves, could this have been
prevented, if so, how? if not, how can we prepare ourselves in case
this happens again?
yet i find it strange, and somewhat discerning, that one after another - these horrible coincidental "accidents" are suddenly occuring in such a short time frame.
is the end of the world near? and if so, is my handbasket on its way?
the walls were shaking
the earth was quaking
my mind was aching
and we were making it and you -
| | |
| since sending the email below, mum has agreed to pay off 2 of my credit cards.
see people! write! writing makes a difference!
(if you right to the write people)
man. family = best.forever.
| | |
| subject: hi, mommy, i'm sad
dear mum -
there are certain things in life that will make you sad:
1. fracturing your left leg in a freak skiing accident
2. losing an eyeball in a raw egg throwing competition
3. having your discover card declined at a grocery store with the charge of $21.65.
one of the above has happened to me recently, and i will tell you which one in a moment.
but first:
i would like to explain that this is not a random plea for aid. it is not a sarcastic cry for guidance.
it is - if you will - a statement of frivolous conduct and the results thereof.
*dah-dum* ("law & order" music)
here, i would like to inventory the contents of our pantry pre-Gristedes (grocery store down the block):
- 1 souper 6-pack ramen instant noodles
- 1 box chicken rice-a-roni
- 1 box chicken fried rice flavoured chicken helper
- 2 cans tuna
- 4 cans soup (including: cream of mushroom, beef ravioli, and 2 cans fat-free corn & vegetable)
- 1 box butternut squash soup
- 2 granola bars
- 1 bag granola
- 1 bag soup crackers
- 1 bag misc. crackers
- 1 package lihingmui powder
- 1 set of hot chocolate mix
- 1 package microwave popcorn (wow. .. didn't realize we had that)
- 1 bag of dried vietnamese coffee grinds
- misc. seasonings and sickness medication (including, but not limited to: cough syrup, advil, and garlic salt & pepper)
and, the contents of our refrigerator included:
- leftover mac salad & haupia from l&l
- 3 american cheese singles slices
- 2 mini-bottles red wine
- 1 bottle mayo
- kalbi
as you can see from the above evidence, this does not a decent meal
make. on september 27th, at approximately 6:42pm EST, i walked to the
grocery store down the block to replenish necessary supplies. i had
intended on purchasing the following food items:
- healthy orange juice
- whole grain pita bread
- a package of fat-free american cheese
- rice cakes
- hummus
- microwave popcorn
the above list is comprised of nutritious food items i needed in order to survive on a basic human level. the total? $21.65.
you can imagine my shock when i handed them my discover gift
card with hearts and was told that the card number was "invalid".
luckily, i had $20USD on me and was able to - minus the popcorn - pay
for my purchase.
walking home from the grocery store, i reassessed my recent ramblings and savings. i have come to note the activitites below:
. sept 18 .
cupcakes @ magnolia bakery, lunch @ kittichai, dinner @ momofuku noodle bar
. sept 19 .
Chicago broadway performance, dinner @ TGIFriday's
. sept 20 .
jazz & drinks @ tavern on the green, dinner @ wd-50
. sept 21 .
birthday dinner (not mine) @ bahia in brooklyn
. sept 22 .
dinner @ sushi samba rooftop, Absinthe performance @ spiegel tent
. sept 23.
brunch @ sunburnt cow
factoring
in transportation costs for all of the above and various incurred costs
- i have discovered that my social life is running away with my savings
account. you can see from the above evidence that while my activities
are endless and exciting, my stomach is empty and rotten.
this would probably explain my recent exhaustion and mental sickness if not for the following facts:
1. i have intense credit card debt of approximately a little less than $9,000USD
2. the rent on our apt is $1,300USD per month
3. i have no willpower
you can see from my circular
reasoning above that i do not know how to draft a detailed letter
explaining my need for help. i have called the house and left a phone
message but have not heard a reply yet. writing this letter, i am
asking for the following:
a. three thousand u.s. dollars wired to my account by october 1st
b. a second job
i
have been living in a pseudo-world in which i believe voicing my
concerns will lead to a definitive answer in problem solving. i know
the former sentence to be true because in all my 23 years, i have never
known otherwise.
a couple weeks ago, we had spoke and i had expressed interest
in hand-writing you a letter. that letter, like all my fulfilling of
empty promises, is still in the process of being completed. in the
meantime, i am typing this email in hopes that a speedy reply will be
garnered.
a chuckle and some cash will also be greatly appreciated.
please call me if you would like to discuss, and i deeply urge you to advise on the above.
in the meantime, i will be eating stale pita and hummus for dinner.
i leave you with one effusive statement:
"if i die of starvation, it will not be by choice, nor as a demonstrative act. it will be by necessity and neglect."
i love you!
~your loving daughter
and then i sent it to her at 8:03pm EST
| | |
| kinda makes me wanna sit at home infront of a computer screen after staring at a computer screen at work all day. yum | | |
| i can't breathe. my chest tightens and the thoughts the race thru my mind are of times, dates, moments i can't remember. i get mixed up and the things i thought i should know are somehow erased from my memory and replaced by ghosts of dreams past.
we read: too little
we react: too quickly
we think: we should know more about life than we actually do.
and then we wake-up/resurface and things are just as they always were. familiar and comforting. and that's when we know -
yes. it will be alright. everything's fine and we're perfectly imperfect.
it's just a phase, it's cyclical
and in due time
we'll start to believe it. | | |
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